He Leadeth Me Beside the Still Waters

Peace. What is peace? "Peace and quiet"? Does that mean that nothing is going on, life is a smooth path, and circumstances are rosey?

I'm finding the answer is No. Peace... that would be a quiet confidence in God's presence and love despite the cirucumstances. That would be knowing and TRUSTING in God's control over every aspect of our lives, even when our own emotions are turbulent and troubled and life seems to be spinning out of control. That would be clinging to the Almighty and His promises when the fog of what we wish wasn't real surrounds us.

That is peace.

The still waters in Psalm 23 speak to me of peace. Our journey over the last couple weeks has been full of emotion, to be sure. I don't need to go over all that. But God's perfect peace has also been prevalent.

We did more cleaning yesterday. The children helped stack some wood. Today I had a nice visit from a good friend of mine, also a quilting buddy. She and I met for the first time two years ago, and from the first time we met, our hearts were knitted together, to use her words. I know it seems somewhat hypocritical, but while I don't feel like being out in public, being around her doesn't bother me. I feel like I can just be myself... quirky humor to raw emotion and tears, and I don't have worry about it. I can just be ME. Not "the pastor's wife" or anything like that. At any rate, we had coffee, and chatted about many things, from how I am coping to her cruise vacation with her husband.

I need to find some sort of goal for tomorrow. I find I do better with something definate to accomplish right now. The house is quite clean.. the best it has looked in several months. The ironing done. Maybe I'll do some baking. I have been toying with getting out a neglected cross stitch project. It is a Paula Vaughan pattern. Maybe my goal tomorrow will be to reaquaint myself with that. It has been a good 6 months since I picked it up.

Dh will be taking another half day tomorrow. He and the older 4 went to the library this afternoon while the younger two and I took a nap. He got some books for me to read to help fill my mind. Mostly fluff reading.. nothing that takes too much brainwork at this point.

I still haven't started school back up yet, but decided to do so Monday. I will be taking time over the weekend to get the second semester's schedule worked out. Shouldn't be too hard, right? I need to get an idea of who is doing what again, as far as electives go.

I have to say today has been the best day for me so far since Aaron's death. There were still teary eyed times, but overall, there was more normalcy to the day, I think. Things seemed to go smoother, overall. It was like a shaft of light coming through the fog.