The Path Less Well Travelled

As we go along on this journey, I am pondering the reality of stillbirths in our society. You don't hear about them much. I think as a whole, we don't like to face the unpleasantness of losing a child. Afterall, in the natural order of things, the children are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around. Sure, it is very difficult to lose your parent (my dh lost his dad about 4 1/2 years ago to a heart attack ). But you expect that someday you will outlive them. And somehow an adult dying is less of a shock than a child dying. Not that we miss my FIL any less, even after four and a half years. But to have to bury your own child just seems so very wrong, and so very heart wrenching.

If you do lose your child, say through still birth as we did, you suddenly find yourself in a group of people that are not acknowledged in some ways. People just don't want to face facts ... full term still births do happen, even in this day and age. It is not a club I ever wanted to be part of. And the membership is nonrevokable, and it is a lifetime membership.

As we go about dealing with the loss of Aaron, I continue to hear about others who have had stillbirths. Acquaintances, for the most part. I had wondered why I never realized how many ladies have been through this before. But then, how do you work up the loss of a child in everyday conversation? It isn't exactly something you blurt out while you are talking about the weather, or the latest sale at the grocery store. But when you know someone is going through what you have already been through, it opens a door. A door that can lead to blessing and understanding and healing. There is a saying that "misery loves company" but that is not what this is about. It is about knowing that others have survived the loss, have learned how to deal with it, have survived, yea, even thrived in the years after. It is about having someone to share with who really understands what it is like, who is empathetic to your raw emotions.


The path is not well travelled, but it IS travelled by more than you think. It is not a path I would have ever chosen to go down myself. Nor would I wish it on anyone else. But, it is good to know we don't walk alone.