Who We Are and What We Deserve

"Have Thine own way Lord, have thine own way,
Thou art the Potter, I am the clay,
Mould me and make me, after Thy will,
While I am waiting, yielded and still..."

That popular hymn is sung many times in many churches, but have you ever really looked at those words? Can you really sing them and mean it? Being the clay isn't being a pretty vase or pitcher sitting on a table being admired by the Maker. It is a lump on a table, constantly changing, being molded into what the Master wants. Sometimes it a smooth transition, and sometimes it means breaking off that big lump in the back that doesn't belong there. Or painfully bending a part so it looks just right. Or smacking the lump down and doing some major reconstruction.

We are predestined to be conformed to the image of Christ... but we aren't there yet, and won't be until we reach heaven. We are still being formed, still being molded. We aren't done yet, not by a long shot!

I am learning to be content with whatever God wants me to be. Right now I am a broken vessel, cracked, and being worked on. But I am learning that is okay. Even David felt like that. In Psalm 31:12, he says "... I am like a broken vessel." That is the King of Israel talking like that! Maybe God wants me to function as a broken vessel to bring Him glory. I need to be content with that. There is a piece of me that will always be missing.

Due to the number of little hands in our household, we have several pieces of mugs or bowls that have chips out of them. They are not whole. Some might throw them away, but we haven't. We still use them. They are still useful, even with that piece missing. One bowl that we use almost everyday has a crack in the bottom of it, but it doesn't go all the way through, so we can still use it.

I am learning... slowly, I admit... but learning that God wants to use me though I am imperfect and incomplete. I can still be useful.

There is no point in asking.. "what did I do to deserve this?". Dale made a comment about this to me recently. I don't view Aaron's death as punishment from God. I view it as a tool or a learning experience. It isn't comfortable. It hurts a lot. I could ask "why?", I could ask "what did I do to deserve this?". But what is the point? The truth is that there is no point to it. It isn't about what I deserve or don't deserve. It is about learning more about God and His mercy. The Christian walk is not paved with rose petals. Paul himself asked the Lord three times to remove a thorn in his flesh. Something in his life was so severe, that he asked the Lord to take it away. Now think about this. Paul had suffered shipwreck, stonings, and was given up for dead. I really don't think he would be complaining about a hang nail, do you? Whatever was so harsh that he asked the Lord to remove it (three times, even), the Lord still said "no". What did he do to deserve it? Again, the question has no point.

We shouldn't be asking "what did I do to deserve this trial?". We should be asking that question about the flip side.
"What did I do to deserve my wonderful dh?"
"What did I do to deserve my wonderful children?"
"What did I do to deserve my loving church family?"
"What did I do to deserve my caring friends?"
"What did I do to deserve the times of peace in my heart?"
"What did I do to deserve the ability to read the Bible?"
"What did I do to deserve eternal life through Jesus Christ?"

The answer... NOTHING. God gives us all things freely. God loves us. He wants us to grow closer to Him. To fellowship with Him. To learn to lean on Him, and go to Him for support. It is only by His grace and mercy that we even exist to be saved.

So those of us who are a broken vessel must learn to be content with that. That is what God wants us to be, so we put up with whatever infirmity He gives us, whether it be physical or mental or emotional. We can be content with that because we know that the Master isn't finished with us yet.