A Leap to a Milestone

Happy Leap Day everyone! Just think, we won't have another one for four years.

Today has been quite the day for me. I hit a milestone in the grieving process that was huge for me.

This morning I had my postpartum appointment with my midwife. I was fretful about it last night and fidgety. I was worried about whatever emotional impact it might make. Dale offered over and over to arrange for him driving me, but I insisted I could do it myself. So I did. On the way over I realized there wasn't any panic, or apprehension. Just a feeling of peace. That is due to three things. One is God's mercy towards me. The second is that prayer works. No doubt about it. Thirdly is that the relationship I have with the midwife and the assistant is that of friends, not just medical care provider and client. We had a nice visit, chatting for over and hour before we even did the check up. The assistant and I had a nice talk, comparing some grieving notes. She had lost a baby to almost identical circumstances that we did a few years ago.

I am thankful I can say that physically I am healthy. I am grateful I don't have any health complications to contend with in the midst of just trying to process the situation. My weight is down below what I started with at the beginning of the pregnancy, and my blood pressure excellent, and all the muscles and stuff are doing what they are supposed to be doing. I don't take that for granted, believe me.

After the appointment I decided I would tackle the errands I had written down. I had them prioritized so if I needed to just go home I could. The only thing we REALLY needed was milk, so I did that first. Then I went to Barnes and Nobles. I took my time, looking over the bargain tables. Then I went to Walmart. Oh my. That was total sensory overload. I had to get coffee and a few odds and ends. Dale had mentioned about picking out another lamp for in the bedroom so I did that. Well, in case I haven't mentioned it before, I have no capacity for making decisions anymore. The mental gymnastics I had to go through would have made you think I was trying to decide the fate of the nation.

I got home, and was mentally exhausted. I am so not used to that anymore! But the "huge" part of this is that it is a milestone for me. My first time out and about by myself.

The mail brought another pleasant addition to the day. Aaron's portrait. It is done, and it is beautiful. Now we have to decide where we are going to put it and have it professionally framed. The girls told me they would like it in the living room. I like that, too. I'm not afraid to show off my baby. They said that way they can look at it alot. I plan on having the poem I wrote for him framed with his portrait. Bethany Kerr did the portrait, and I cannot say enough what a talent God has given her. When we get it all framed I will post a pic of it here.

It has been a busy day. Dale got to be on duty for heading up the homeschooling today while I was off getting sensory overload like I was at the circus (well, given the usual busyness at Walmarts, I'm not sure that is an exaggeration).

Another blessing today was the weather. It was frigid overnight, but the skies were clear and blue and sunny this morning and while I was out. After I got home, it got quite gray and the wind picked up and it started snowing to beat the band. Funny thing... though I wouldn't have wanted to be driving in it, my kids were out there with snow suits, boots, etc. riding their bikes in a snowstorm.

In order to let my mind relax so I can fall asleep I plan on doing something that doesn't take much brain power tonight. I just can't decide what that will be. :)